I wanna hold his hand and snuggle up close to him..

He is such a special person, he would make everyone feel loved and appreciated. I love him with all my heart. I observed him during his journey through life, he is the most caring person ever. he always wanted me to be happy.. to be what really i am. theres nothing in this world can compare my love to him.. Everything he do is right in my eyes and he can do no wrong.. That person makes me feel special and i want to be with him 24/7.. Its more of an emotional connection..This person makes me want to be a better person... he remember every little detail about me. even when i forgot to bring my umbrella, he always order me to bring it.. he did not want me washed by rain or exposed by sunlight... how sweet !!  isn't it ?? not because i keep reminding him, but because he actually pay attention on me and thats mean he really love me and i feel so lucky to have him.. he is very very serious person, he rarely have smile on his face.. but i  love every little weird face of him when i telling a joke to him.. even when my joke wasnt funny , he still show his silly laugh to offer.. he just give a silent treatment when he angry with me, when we disagree about one thing we discuss.. but its not a big deal.. bacause we can mad long with people we love.. someone told me " One of the deepest human needs is the desire for approval " and yes.. I am always eager for his approval.. because his approve make me calm inside to do everythings in my life.. he teach me to be dicipline person, I grew up learning to always look at my watch to make sure I was home before he calling me, and I also grew up knowing that he was always watching over me. he is teacher , he is hero , he is provider and he is my father.. 

Like Crazy

hello everyone, hows life going lately ?? .. mine is great..
i have been busy with my work, just have slightly time to my self.. which is i used it for doing my favorite things like sleeping, watching, swimming and sometimes is cooking. hey.. i do love cooking i am just cant guarantee the taste..  hahaa.. but do not worry, ur not gonna die if you tasted my cooking.. most just have stomach pain.. upss..!! hahaa.. 
you know..!! my mouse pad doesnt work properly right now,, its sucks.. when i open one page, then the cursor working on the other page.. and when I return to the page that I need.. the cursor make all page very small then suddenly  very large.. ohh.. its under control.. i have to fix it.. 


its been long since i have made a review movie that i had watched.. i will share one movie that makes me remember about one person in my life.. i miss him soo badly.. and i dont know whether he miss me or not ?? hahaa.. i am writing this not because i love the actor.. i just love long distance story, the way they survive from all obstacles.. or about different states of love..  love from two people different country.. but it doesnt mean i would love to.. haha, I've learned my lesson from that.. 

The tittle is : Like Crazy

Cast: Anton Yelchin, Felicity Jones, Jennifer Lawrence, Charlie Bewley, Alex Kingston, Oliver Muirhead

Director: Drake Doremus

While attending college in Los Angeles, Jacob (Anton Yelchin), an American, and Anna (Felicity Jones), who hails from London, fall madly in love. However, the young lovers are forced apart when Anna violates the terms of her visa and must return to England. Jacob and Anna discover the difficulties of maintaining a long-distance relationship in the face of their changing lives. Yet, no matter how often circumstances pull them apart, they always find themselves back together again.... 

I was so excited to see this movie, because i have watched the thriler before.. Just watching the first fifteen minutes, quit good .. i love the scene when the girl got a chair as a gift form her boyfriend.. its romantic, dont have to be roses, chocolate, a ring, diamond etc.. something unique like chair could be meant something for someone else.. but 30 minutes in the middle it was going to be extreamly boring because they are lose their sparkle of love.. both characters quickly get involved in other relationships.. and i hate it, i dont like third person between two lover.. they become emotionally separated by life, work and other love interests. Even marriage to each other does not resolve their problems... i hate the ending, its awful..  It's should about what you have to sacrifice and compromise on to be with someone you love instead of just received the situations where they belongs to . But it's incredibly real where nothing is black and white where all the decisions you make effect other people and have consequences... 


well.. Go and see it! It's not a movie that I could watch a million time and never get sick of it... but Anyone in a long distance relationship has to see this... 

Theater Room

hey hey.. whats up folks ??

Hari ini pulang kantor agak sore, berasa cape banget.. maksudnya berasa kerja hehee.. ( karna seperti yang gw bilang minggu lalu bahwa di kantor gw yang baru ini , gw sama sekali nggak sibuk dan udah capek pretending to busy too much hahaa… sampe rumah pengen nyantaii dan up date blog bentar yah.. =)

Tadi pas dikantor gw ikut meeting bareng bos gw dan meetingnya sama manager marketing hotel tempat Event kantor gw diadain.. ngomongin macem2, dari jenis kamarnya, luasnya, letaknya, run downnya, ball roomnya, sampe harganya.. dari semua pembicaraan yang diomongin, ada satu kata yang biking gw inget sesuatu.. mba marketingnya ini bilang “ kita punya ball room namanya Christal Ballroom itu bisa di set jadi kapasitas 200 orang dengan gaya Theater room” .. ting tong, theater room .. tiba tiba gw jadi inget, Kapan ya Terakhir nonton kebioskop ? rasanya sudah lama.. mungkin sudah lebih dari 2 bulan.. terakhir nonton “journey to the mysterious island” .. dulu dulu bisa dibilang gw movie freak banget, tiap minggu ke bioskop bahkan bisa seminggu 2 kali atau satu kali nonton 2 film.. karna gw suka banget film, menurut gw film itu lebih bisa memberi kita memori yang kuat dibanding buku. Karna sumber memorinya dua arah dari listening iya dan dari visual iya.. dan berhubung karna gw nggak suka baca juga siy hehee.. nggak tahu kenapa lebih suka baca buku yang bergambar dari pada buku yang full text.. that’s why sometimes I do wrong to choose the word to make a perfect sentences, because I am very limited with vocabulary.. haha..

penyebab utama gw udah jarang ke bioskop itu karna hampir semua film yang mau gw tonton udah ada di hardisk gw.. I got it free from internet , gw download semua film dari salah satu webside yang provide linknya di Mediafire, enterupload atau yang laen.. itu gratis.. Cuma butuh koneksi yang kuat dan kesabaran yang berlimpah.. hehe, karna untuk download satu film durasi 2 jam itu tidak sebentar sodara sodara.. kalo koneksinya lemot banget bisa berjam2 atau seharian.. males deh ditungguin.. ditinggal jalan2 balik kamar selesaiii.. taraaa.. tinggal tonton dehh.. its easy and its free…  tau sendiri kan Indonesia selalu kurang update dalam hal apapun.. begitu juga film luar yang masuk ke sini.. premiere worldwide udah dari 2 bulan lalu di sini baru coming soon.. yahhh.. lama bet bu.. keburu jamuran nunggunya.. dan selain itu juga karna masalah waktu juga siy.. week days udah males jalan2, pulang kantor langsung ke pulau kapuk, kalo weekend maunya tidur sampe siang hahahaa.. nggak ada bedanya ya weekend sama weekdays.. tujuan akhirnya sama2 tidur.. J ohh iya.. dikantor gw yang baru ini orang2nya sepertinya tidak suka film.. mereka lebih suka karoke hahaa.. jadi makin jarang aja ke bioskop ini mah, karna nggak ada temennya..

Ada seseorang yang bilang ke gw , he order me actually : he wants me to stop blogging and stop facebooking.. dia bilang lo akan punya waktu dimasa tua lo untuk ngelakuin itu tanpa ada gangguan apapun, karna lo nggak akan ngerjain hal lain a.k.a udah pengsiun maksudnya jadi tiap hari kerjaannya blogging aja sama facebookan.. focus gitu ce nah.. dia bilang blog dan facebook itu adalah dunia virtual yang bikin kita semakin jauh dari kenyataan. Maksudnya pada waktu kita asyik facebookan kadang kita lupa hal hal yang di dunia nyata, seperti exercise, jogging, get shape atau lupa untuk belajar sesuatu.. bikin kita seperti robot virtual.. dan kata dia lagi “talking is too much better than chatting” .. kalimat yang terakhir ini benar karna kalo kita ngomong langsung itu pesannya bisa tersampaikan dengan jelas dibanding dengan text, karena intonasi menentukan maksud dari pesan itu sendiri.. tapi sebenernya itu kembali lagi dari orang dan lingkungannya sih.. blog itu kan nggak serta merta mewakili kepribadian kita didunia nyata, misanya karna kita sibuk ngeblog atau fb-an dibilang melas, jarang olah raga atau gagal secara akademik.. nggak gitu, kalo basically orangnya males tapi kebetulan suka facebookan bukan berarti facebookan dan blogging itu yang bikin dia males.. karna dia males mangkanya dia facebookan , kalo dia rajin mah dia pasti udah sibuk dikantor pagi2 gini bukan sibuk update status ?? hey.. tingkat kemalesan di dunia nyata itu tidak bisa diukur dengan tingkat keaktifan di dunia virtual.. pernah dengar nggak kata2 gini “ shopping online adalah bisnis masa depan” kalimat itu menegaskan kalo dalam beberapa tahun kedepan orang akan cenderung bargain lewat virtual. Mereka mau yang cepet, tidak butuh cost tinggi untuk biaya material, karna semuanya via elektronik, dan bisa terhubung ke belahan dunia manapun di dunia ini.. semua itu melalui virtual.. kembali lagi ke yang tadi pagi2 udah facebookan itu artinya dia aktif secara sosial walaupun Cuma virtual tapi at least dia buat koneksi, image untuk diri dia sendiri.. tapi kadang gw tidak menyangkal ya kalo yang diupdate itu hal hal yang tidak penting.. hehe.. tapi maksudnya gini, apa yang kita tulis disini (blog/fb) itu kan biasanya hal2 yang berkaitan dengan diri kita. Kita ingin membuatnya abadi jadi kita tulis secara virtual .. kalo kita baru ngeblog di masa tua kita , apa yang mau kita tulis lagi.. karna pada saat kita tua.. sesuatu yang menarik dan menyenangkan tidak akan terjadi pada kita sesering pada waktu kita muda dulu.. semakin tua pergaulan semakin sempit dan memory juga semakin berkurang .. mangkanya kita butuh sesuatu yang membuat semua itu bisa diingat kembali..  itu bisa dari cara apapun termasuk nge-blog atau facebook.. gitu lhoo..

Be Positive Miss Fabrianti

I want to tell you one person who could i say "she is quit annoying" in my new office.. i dont wanna being negative shit about people around me. i am just trying to know about different people and different behavior.. i am not saying she is bad person , but i am just feel she is Unwelcome to me.. she felt her job was taken by me, whereas i didint do anything.. She's always trying to "teach" me how to do things that I clearly already know how to do ( i mean, technically i know but yes i need a lit guide from who have experienced) but it does not mean she can be cynical to me, she can underestimate me.. its unfair, he should tell me where her task that should not be done by me. so that i know what is my job and what is not mine.  to make you easy to read this story , maybe for the next couple hour we can call her miss sinistis hehee...because she never smile on me, she just smile with the one she known better..  i give you one case, so that you know if you are in my position. Last week Our team is meeting to discusss about organized to our event were held next month. members of the meeting are head of our division, member of database support, my second bos, our customer service, staff of membership, miss sinistis and the last one is me.. we talked about the preparations, the invitations, the decorations, the consumptions and the last is about printing.. usually all about printing are hendle by miss sinistis because she have subscriptions vendor to provide what she need to print, but special for this event my boss go forward by him self to handle these printing stuff. he isnt tell miss sinistis about that.. but when my boss have a little difficulty to bargain price for printing, he asked miss sinistis to contact the Vendor.. but miss Sinistis do not want to contact the vendor because she felt she isnt the one who bergain the price for the beginning, so she did not want to be blamed if the price is inflated to the cost of printing. she want the first person who negotiations with the vendor who should be responsible, and without confirmation and saying any word she pointed to me to be responsible.. I was surprised because I did not know anything about these printing problems, why she blamed me about that ? at that moment I was immediately denied.. i said " i dont know anything, i didint do anything.. i dont even know What materials will be printed... " then she believed and she ask my boss about that, and my boss said he did by him self and want to miss sinistis to help him.. and then she realize that i do not involved even a bit about her job.. you see.. during this time she felt I was taking over her job thats why she never being friendly with me.. but i feel greatful because i have learned to become aware about type of my co-worker.. the important thing about all of this is would be nice if  not to judge anyone because mind your own business...  i am trying to recpect her all the time, because i believe when i be nice to her, she will do good to me in return.. 

Ohh yes... I have to stop.. Not anymore

I get the answer, the answer I had been looking for.. all the things that he said is true.. I have known for a long time, but I always deny it.. i am the one always thing that he dont need me, but he won't leave me.. thats why i am behave like this.. but i know i am wrong and i am immature for being like that.. I thought I was in love with him , what a fool I wasn't in love with him, I was in love with his words and with his free mindness.. i dont even know him.. there is not love at all, it just friend to share unspoken think (nonsense love exactly like he said.. ) he's just someone who fills the emptiness of my heart, but he will never really be there.. he is just the guy that i am date before i meet the guy i end up with.. i know who i am and what i want.. i am someone who's not gonna let another undeserving stranger in to my heart.. but i am happy he taught me many things.. thank you for that, he is the most decent guy i have ever met.. maybe i have to live my life with new perspective.. new perspective that there is no him in it.. but still i have a wish.. "I wish I would have never met him,it would have saved me from so much pain".... 


Don't push anyone to hard, if it's meant to be, it will happen.. thats it..

i Miss Someone who didnt talk to me anymore..

To see you when I wake up
Is a gift I didn't think could be real

To know that you feel the same as I do
Is a three-fold utopian dream

You do something to me that I can't explain
So would I be out of line if I said
I miss you?

I see your picture
I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine

You have only been gone ten days
But already I'm wasting away

I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon

But I need you to know that I care 
And I miss you


* I wanted to spend everyday with him all the time. He always made sure he made time for me but I would FREAK out if he forgot me. I was just terrified of him stopping loving me and he did. He tried pretty hard to show me how much he cared. But his feelings just changed.. i feel it..

i will Give him time to miss me... he still has the same routine he had while he was dating me (collage boy) the only difference is now i am not around him. He will feel something is missing.. i will tried to avoid thinking about it and keep busy...  even if it kills me. Just figure that if i call him i may have to go through all the rejection... why would i purposely put myself though that? IT's not productive and more emotionally unstable... and  if necessary i have to be SUPER hard to get. and show him i am are happy without him... be patient Miss. Aisyah fabrianti.. 

Positive Immpression at my Work Place

hey guys.. I'll tell you my first week  impression of my new office.. Moving into a new office can be stressful but with my little effort i could have a productive and  harmonious relationship with my new office friends.. when i came for the first time there, i feel cozy and quiet. its tottaly different with my previous office.. you know.. actually i am not the kind of "cuwawaan" person who can  quickly socializing with peoples around me.. so, when i meet new people in my new office i felt awkward and embarrassed.. not because they cant accepted me.. theres nothing wrong with them, theres something wrong in me.. for me first impressions are important, i dont want they judging me for whole my entire life just  in 3 second i meet them for the first time.. i wanna make they  have good impression about me , have strong opinions about me, thats why i  need to be right, but i think there are many things going wrong hahaa...

here we goes, 
i told u , i've changed department and position .. i am not handling booking / service for customer anymore.. its means i do things than i had never done before.. got it !!! i dont know the system, the terrain, the term, and all those things.. i didnt say i dizzy about it, bucause in a fact I do not know what to do, i dont have a clear vision about what should i do in my new job.. whereas i am usually busy on my job at my old office.. thats why i feel like a dumb when i dont know what to do anymore.. and its getting worst when my boss wasnt in their place to be.. just like 5 minute there then 5 minute lost, then back again then lost again.. WTH boss.. !!!  I am confused to whom I should ask.. you should telling me .. a  b c d -- z about my job descriptions..


the second thing i realise is this office dont have refreshing area and they dont have dining room.. we all eat and rest on the desk.. hahaaa,, sometime its getting messy.. and what else,, !!! you know what ??? all the computers there could not detect the flask disk because they afraid virus affected their system.. hahaa, i think its funny , because mostly they work in dynamic pattern who should them go moving defferent place everyday.. and data transfered is impossible there.. they just using email with limited quota for transfered.. but i think its no issue, because it has been like that a  long before I came.. 


despite it all, I feel lucky to be accepted at the office, because my life may be stagnant with no improvements before, but i do really hope i will be something on my new office.. i'm happier where i am now. i actually look forward to go to work. that's why i smile more often now.... hahaaa.. please don't be unhappy for me, or try to make me unhappy coz my life is amazing just the way it is :) gonna be spending many years here... super duper excited, i hope it'll be lotsa fun!,